Growing up I had always fantasized on how the romance part of my life would look like; getting married to the first love of my life and raising our beautiful kids together. This was the picture and it looked perfect.
True to plan, I met a beautiful girl and after an intro of fun and excitement, the script went awry. I stuck on like glue even when it was obvious it wasn’t working, I wouldn’t let go because I was attached not necessarily to the girl but to my fantasy of marrying the first love of my life.
She scattered my heart to pieces broke my heart and put pepper in my eyes torched my eyes with pepper spray.
My friends, that was a ‘welcome to life’ moment for me.
A welcome to life moment is a defining, shift producing moment in a person’s life that influences and alters how that person subsequently relates to the world around him
Aishat Farooq was a shining light to her parents, passing out of secondary school with awards and gaining admission into the university at the young age of 15. She could have passed for a genius as she easily made the cut for a first class grade in her first year while slipping to a second class upper in her second year as she got distracted by – in her own words – boys.
In her third year and at 18 years of age, Aisha got pregnant, sorry since she isn’t married, let me rephrase in vernacular, Aisha ‘carry belle’ and was forced to drop out of school to have her baby and begin a new vocation as a trader.
This certainly was a ‘welcome to life’ moment for Aishat, from a future of glittering promise to one of uncertainty.
Everyone has experienced a ‘welcome to life’ moment and many times, these moments have occurred more than once in our lives, shaping our perspectives to life without many of us even taking note.
We may not be able to determine the card life deals to us, but how we play the card is left to us – every good card player understands this.
*Back to the matter*
Did I say my first love broke my heart?
I was wrong.
It was how I felt at that moment but time and maturity has made me realise that instead of breaking my heart, she actually put a brain in my heart. This has even made it larger to love more with the added enhanced feature of having ‘good sense’ in love. It’s an invaluable gift that I’m ever grateful for, because it helped me define the ‘one’ and made me understand better that there were some things out of my control thus making me tailor my focus to the things I can control.
It’s one reason I like the proverbial phrase, ‘when life gives you lemons, make lemonade’, adapted from the original words of Elbert Hubbard.
When you try to control what you can’t control, you sign a contract with frustration – Sam Adeyemi.
This is the case in point for many of us, instead of learning how to make lemonades and juice (what we can control), so that we will be prepared whether life gives us lemons or oranges, we instead waste our time trying to determine what life will give us (what we can’t control).
A sailor doesn’t master the wind, he masters the sails, that’s why no matter the direction of the wind, the sailor uses the sails to make the wind assist him in getting to his destination.
When you have mastered what you can control, what you can’t control will work for you, thus the saying ‘fortune favours the brave’. As a man of faith, I will translate this to read, ‘and all things work together for good to them that love God…’ – Romans 8:28.
*Do your part, love God!*
– Wondering what happened to Aishat?-
I’ll tell you.
Fast forward 7 years after and Aishat Farooq, a mother to a 7 year old son is the 2013 best graduating student in her university with a GPA of 4.93 and proudly declares on the microphone while giving the valedictory address on behalf of the graduating students, ‘the rebel in me won!’
What have you used your ‘welcome to life’ moments for?
An opportunity for regrets or an inspirational story worth sharing?
No matter what your answer is, if you don’t like it, you can change it – Let the rebel in you, WIN!
You’re ‘Welcome to Life’
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