It’s Day 10 or is it? Well it depends on the part of the world where you are really – This is Santa’s time and it’s a continuation of our Christmas special – 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS . 2 more days to go but let’s enjoy something beautiful from our boy and one of my favourite writers – Banky.
P.S: Look out for “The Task” after the story – It holds the key to unlocking Day 11.
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So sorry to bother you today. I know It’s your busy day, however, I need you to take a few minutes to read my letter. I promise to make it as brief as possible.
First, I must thank you for the endless years of making families smile. Your dedication to your craft is worthy of emulation. If every man were as diligent as you are, the world will be a much better place for all. Thank you for that beautiful red dress on my 7th birthday; I wore that dress for two days, slept in it until Aunty Kabirah, our househelp forced me out of it on the evening of Boxing Day. I must also thank you for the Nintendo Game Boy you delivered on my 14th Christmas on earth. I remember my brothers had theirs two years prior and I had literally begged dad and mum for one as I was beginning to get tired of girly things. Where dad and mum won’t listen, you turned up. Jesus must be so proud of you, for taking it upon yourself year in, year out, since forever, to deliver gifts in commemoration of his birthday to deserving children. Thank you so very much.
Now to the reason for my letter.
Santa, the last gift you delivered to me was that lovely grey Manchester United branded jumpsuit in1999, the year the team won the UEFA Champions League. I was 18 years old and had just secured admission to study Electrical Engineering at the University. Oh I rocked that jumpsuit Santa. From a casual stroll to evening tutorials and everything in-between, I was the cynosure of all eyes. In fact, that jumpsuit gave me my first boyfriend, Samuel. He had walked up to me one evening on my way to tutorials and asked if I was a ManU fan. Of course I was, still am, and we got talking. We dated all through School and everyone had maried us off before he even had a chance To propose marriage.
But we never made it. You see, I was brought up with a glowing moral fabric that stood out in tjhe assembly of dirty laundry everywhere I went. Samuel knew this. But within the first 3 months of dating, he wanted sex. I declined. Repeatedly. Until I had to break up the relationship. He would come back begging, I would accept him back, he would start again, I’ll break up until the relationship became predictably on/off like my monthly cycle. When we broke up again in my final year, we never came back together. There was this really stunning (if I may say so myself) 200L babe that he started seeing. Apparently, that one gave him more than enough sex. So I lost him.
The pain of losing Samuel kept me away from guys until my Youth Service. Uche was the President of our CDS group. Cerebral, tall imposing presence, he was the dream of many girls in the CDS. But he chose me. Oh Santa, Uche was heavenly. We had awesome dates inspite of the fact that we were serving in a far flung village somewhere in Oyo State. We took walks around the village whenever we were not seated at the village streams watching the women fetch water while others did their laundry. The villagers soon started calling us Oko ati Iyawo. Santa, it felt really good. Until there was very little else to discuss except start having sex. I was determined not to have any until my wedding night but Uche was a dream too good to wake up from. He asked, he begged, he coerced. I refused. Weeks turn to months, I stuck to my guns. No sex before marriage. Eventually, he agreed to wait for me. I was delighted. Finally I had met my man.
I was wrong.
One late evening, I barged into Uche’s room to see him fast-pounding a wide-hipped girl from behind on his mattress, the very one we had gone to buy together in Oyo town soon after our posting. They both paused when they saw me. As I made to pack my scattered mouth and utter a word, the humping resumed, this time faster and deeper. I still cannot get out the image of them grunting and moaning from my head.
I was ill for days. Other corp members tried reaching Uche to let him know my state of health but he never turned up. Thanks to our mutual friends, I was nursed back to health
For many years after that, I never dated. Before any man asked me out, I declined. I was determined not to be heartbroken again. Until Segun walked into my Masters class one Saturday afternoon looking like Idris Elba. All 54 pairs of eyes in the class gathered on him as he made his way to the podium. When he spoke, his voice was so studio-ready you’d be forgiven for thinking this was a Yoruba Morgan Freeman. He introduced himself as Dr Segun Akiolu, the one who’d teach us Engineering Law. The course is one of two at masters level that was entirely devoid of calculations and theories. Most students barely survive it. But with Segun as our lecturer, no one dared miss classes. Even the guys found him very interesting.
We started dating 3 months to the end of my masters, well after he had stopped teaching us. Apparently, he had picked me out from the lot when we took his classes and had waited long enough to ask me out. Segun was all shades of beautiful. He bought me unexpected, useful gifts. He flaunted me amongst his friends and introduced me to his mum. I was finally in dreamland. But I was sceptical. I knew someday, he too would ask for sex. To my surprise, he never did. We would make out for minutes, sex would not happen. I wanted to ask him what the problem was but I refrained from doing so lest it became interpreted as me wanting sex.
The date for our wedding was fixed for my 29th birthday. I was finally going to get married. But the date never arrived. Segun was killed by a stray bullet at Ore on his way back from Benin where he had honoured a speaking invitation.
His death killed me. I was sure someone somewhere was behind my predicament. I turned to God, l, Santa. Not that I never was in tune with him but I became a fervent Christian and rededicated myself to Him. There was no point struggling through this world alone without the Almighty to keep one on track. In Jesus, I found a lover, soulmate and go-to person. Everything was fine with me. Except my relations who wanted me to get married by fire by force.
For the past 5 years, they have been pestering me to bring home a husband. Just yesterday, Segun’s mum, who I had remained close to, asked if I was dating. I said no and she broke down in tears. Santa, she wants me to start dating again. I am 35 Santa, how do I start? Several men have come to me over the years but Segun remains the only one I want. But he’s been dead for five years now. The men that ask me out these days are either way younger or married. I am not gonna share my man, so no married man. And I won’t date anyone born after me, nope.
You fixed many gifts in my childhood Santa. This is one I cannot wait for you to fix. I need a husband. I like them tall, imposing and cerebral. Tribe doesn’t matter but he must be a christian. Please check your rucksack, do you perhaps have one that fit my specifications somewhere there?
Christmas is tomorrow. Please make it one to remember for me. I have been a good girl. Now is the time to make me happy again like you used to do.
I am counting on you, Santa.
25 December, 2017
When Bisi got out of bed the following morning, she made straight for the white Christmas tree she had bought for herself a week earlier.
She saw no boxes under it. It was exactly as she had left it.
She knelt down beside it and burst into tears. In her frustration, she pushed the tree so violently it fell on its side. The wide round base tipped to face her.
The she saw it.
Taped to the base of the tree was a Covenant University call card. It bore the name ‘Segun Adisa, PhD. She peeled it off and flipped it over. There it was in small case: “Beautiful jumpsuit, ManU fan? Pls call me.”
Then she remembered she was wearing her new blue ManU jumpsuit when she went to buy the Christmas tree and other decorations at the store. She remembered there were three other people in the store at the same time as her. One was a woman, the other were men. Who amongst them is Segun?
Slowly, she got up and reached for her phone. She would give this Segun a trial. After all, Santa always delivers the right gift.
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