I burnt myself trying to get this episode out earlier. My laptop’s charger was on fire (faulty electrics- long story ) I pulled the charger off the laptop without thinking. I hadn’t backed up the work. Anyway, the laptop is fine. Thank God because 2017 has been super hectic. Hope you are all doing good. Have a fabulous weekend.
Catch up on previous episodes of “Say You Will Stay” HERE
“Issy-sweetie, you are scaring me. We’re all worried about you. Mum hasn’t stopped crying. Lotachi has called twice. She wants me to go on my knees when you wake up. She wants you to know she will be the best sister-in-law ever. Trust me, that girl loves you. Just like Ifeanyi and Daddy.” Obinna stopped to avoid mentioning Chibuzor’s name.
Isio looked like she had simply gone to sleep. If he just looked at parts of her face. Around her forehead, cheeks and the bridge of her nose. She looked fine. Not like the unconscious body he found beside his daughter’s at the bank of the river.
Her dress was muddy. Just like his daughter’s. Her hair, wet. Drenched in soil that clung to strands of her twists. Strands that had come apart. The way he came apart when he saw their bodies.
When Chibuzor called him with Toyin’s phone he had been calm. When he told him the car was underwater and Toyin and him had succeeded in getting out before the car sank but his daughter’s seat belt trapped her in, he acted like a sane father. Even when he found out Isio was in the car too.
Overnight, his friends would tell him he had not behaved like a sane man. That he pushed them out of the way when they tried to stop him and trudged the river. Coming up for air and diving back in. Idriss would describe the water as colder than freezing water. Sub-zero.
He didn’t remember the water’s temperature. But he remembered fearing he wouldn’t find the girls. The excruciating pain as he tried to take a breath. Thinking that his life was over. And seeing them half-submerged in the hedgy swamp on the other side of the river, the pain in his lungs had multiplied then.
Even as he left Isio’s bedside and took the lift he could hear the rattling. It wasn’t as bad as his wheezing when he went downstairs for a smoke. To smoke the pack of cigarettes one of his friends passed to him. He couldn’t be sure now which one of them it was. One of Emeka’s friends or one of the new friends he had made since he relocated to London.
His insides were freezing. Teeth chattering. It started when he followed his daughter into the ambulance. When one of the paramedics, worried about his pulse, tried to get him on a stretcher. When he felt pulled in two different directions because even though Biba had gone in the other ambulance with Isio to the hospital, a part of him had gone with them too. Willing Isio’s eyes to open
Even on the warm children’s ward, his body would not thaw out. The thick jumper and trendy jeans Anu brought him last night – her husband’s – clung to him. Keeping the cold intact.
He could hear Annabel talking. She had been sat up talking to Toyin and her father when he left. He couldn’t bear to tell her last night she had two epileptic fits and this morning she went into another one, gripping his hand with unexpected strength.
He stopped when he saw his mother, Kelly and Chibuzor. It was his mother he didn’t want to see. She came after him. He walked past her and headed to the nurses’ office.
“Obinna m,” she drew her handkerchief to her face.
“I told you to go home.”
“My son, please.”
There was no one at the nurses’ office so he had no choice but to go back. His mother stopped in front of the vending machine.
“Should I get you tea? Your brother said you have not eaten or drank anything.”
“My son, I’m sorry.” Her handkerchief did not get her tears on time. They fell quickly. “I should have told you what Chibuzor tried to do to Issy. I didn’t mean to lie to you Obinna m.”
“You did, Mama.”
He had told her to go home last night after she told him Isio and his brother were not having an affair. Backing it up with what she knew. That was how he found out what his brother tried to do.
Obinna started to head back. “Please Mama, I don’t need this. Go home. Go and rest.”
“I should have told you. I wanted to tell you…”
“Yes, yes. You were worried about the family. I heard you last night. It’s fine.” He had never been able to show his anger by shouting. At times, like last night, the lid on his emotions would rip open, surprising everyone. Those times were rare. So rare that Emeka often teased him about this when he was alive.
He had felt like battering his brother when his mother told him what he did. He had even felt like telling him that they were no longer brothers. Then Toyin’s father, who was on duty, came in and asked his brother to leave. He had realised because of the pounding off his head that it was himself he was livid with. In one night, his daughter and girlfriend had ended up on hospital beds. All because of him.
“What about your brother?”
“I have told him to get out of my house. We have no problem as long as he does what I want.”
Inside his daughter’s room, the pounding did not cease. The inner part of his nostrils throbbed. One of the nurses on the ward had told him throbbing and aching of different parts were a result of being in freezing water for that long. She asked if he wanted a doctor to prescribe something to soothe him. Shaking his head slowly, he had murmured no. He deserved the throbs and aches.
“Are you okay, Daddy?” His daughter asked as he sat beside her on the small hospital bed.
The skin of her face looked peaky. Swathed in a thick robe over the loose hospital gown they put her in yesterday, she looked fragile. Her eyes were red, lips dry. The hospital band on her wrist dug as she wrapped her hands round his neck. She was saying sorry. Mumbling something about his relationship and his happiness. About not wanting to hurt him. He kissed her head and hushed her.
“Get better, Bell. That’s all I want.” He focused his eyes on his brother and glared at him until he looked up from his phone. “Some people don’t deserve forgiveness. You are not one of them. You are my child. The most important person in my life.”
His brother stood up and strolled out of the room. His jeans, halfway down his shorts.
Kelly was rearranging the lilac and purple tulips in the flower vase. Miles had brought them in. Along with fruit juices, get well cards and a slim phone that did more than Annabel’s phone could. Miles said he didn’t want her not to have a present on Christmas Day. Miles had also brought a bunch of pink roses for Isio. They came with a card with a love poem. He asked Obinna to sign it, all my love. The card and roses were taken to the women’s ward.
“Fight for her. Nothing good comes easy.” Miles had said. “You are clearly in love with her.” The man understood. Despite the differences between them, their race and background. He did not act like Idriss who had shrugged and said, “she lied to you, dude. How were you supposed to know she was not doing your bro?”
“Mama, I can go home to bring your stuff. You need to get changed.” Kelly was addressing his mother. She was still dressed in the dress she chose for the party yesterday. It was made from the white fabric he brought her from Nigeria. She was wedged in a corner, on a small chair. Handkerchief in her limp hand, eyes focused somewhere on the floor. He had to grab her when she saw Isio surrounded by various types of equipments and screamed. He had promised himself to give her what she had wanted for a while; a daughter-in-law that would treasure her. She had been supportive all through his life, propping him up. Unwavering.
His life had stopped being boring since he met Isio. Contrary to what his father said about women, he believed she was committed to him. That she tried to be.
He was ten when his father warned him. Reeking of home-made gin after another argument with his wife. “Be careful of women, my son. Trust them only if you are ready to die. They will sleep with your boss and say they did it for you and your children. Ask your mother.”
He never did ask.
Kelly went over to his mother and tapped her hand gently. She lurched forward and appeared as surprised as him when Kelly called her mama when she repeated her question. “Let me go and get your things. I can tidy the house and bring you some food.”
“That’s very kind.”
“I can bring you whatever you want too, James.”
He thought of his daughter’s grip tightening around him. The way it had before she had her last seizure and decided to be polite to her mother.
“Just give me your keys. I can go to Isio’s flat as well. I can get some of her stuff. You know, most girls like to have their own things around them.”
“Yes,” his mother agreed. “She will need night things. She likes to wash her face with her special skincare soap. You can bring my Bible for her. It’s in my room. On the bed.”
“Is she okay, Daddy?” Annabel asked. “I want to see her. Please Daddy. She saved my life. I couldn’t take my seat belt off. That’s why she stayed in the car to help me. She could have jumped out like Uncle and Toyin. It’s my fault she is in hospital.”
“She is going to be your stepmum,” Kelly came over and caressed their daughter’s cheek. “She loves your Daddy. She couldn’t have left you there.” She let her fingers rest briefly on his chest when it slid down.
“I want to see her. Please. I need to talk to her.”
“She is fine,” Obinna lied. “She asked of you but the doctors told her to stay in bed.” He had spoken to Annabel’s consultant only once. A brief conversation where the grey-haired man was focused on the file in front of him. Muttering about tests. Apologising for not knowing enough, yet. But Obinna had known that his daughter wasn’t well and he would lie to her for the rest of her life to stop her from twitching and grunting like she did this morning. He would lie and do anything to make her better.
He had to, he told himself as he walked Kelly to the lift. She was talking to him as if they were still together. Asking for his keys as if she had misplaced her own set.
“Listen,” he began. “You are only here because of Bell. You are the last person I want in my house so stop asking me for my house keys.”
She contorted her brows in mock pretence. He had seen her do this a lot when they were together. Even on the day he saw Luga speeding out of his compound, his shirt around his neck.
“I don’t want you anymore Kelly. Quit what you are trying to do. It’s not fair on Issy and Bell. Stop it! Or else I will sue for full custody of my child. Then I will turn her against you. We both know, I can do it.”
“Yeah,” she smirked. “We both know you have that mean streak. Leaving your grief-stricken wife at home because of small contracts. Well, now Issy knows. She has experienced that ugly temper of yours and your superiority complex.”
“You are a special man,” Isio gushed yesterday morning. He had woken up to find her doubled over in the bathroom. She had been sick. Shaking her head, she insisted she didn’t want him in the bathroom with her. “I don’t want you to see me throwing up or anything like that.” He laughed, explaining that he couldn’t stop loving her. Not for something like that. Something so natural. And he had stayed with her, rubbed her back when she started to heave. Helped her wash her face and assisted her back in bed. This was when she called him special. When he feared that in time she would see that he wasn’t so special.
“I have a mean streak.” He meant it as a question but his voice did not ring firm enough.
“You act like you didn’t play a part in what went wrong between us.”
“If I’m so bad, why are you trying to get back with me?”
She fidgeted with her bag’s handle then hung it on her shoulder. Beneath mass of lengthy extensions.
“We are over. Go back to Luga.”
“You don’t understand. Luga got married.”
“He went to Chicago and married this nobody. A girl he told me was his cousin.”
“Oh?” He saw one of the nurses he was looking for earlier come out of a room and gestured for her to wait. “I need to go and speak to that nurse about our daughter. I need to know when I will see the doctor. Then, I will go and check on the woman I love upstairs. We both know she wouldn’t have been in that car if you didn’t get Annabel to write those texts…”
“I forgive you. I forgive you because I know Issy will forgive me eventually. She loves me. I know she likes people getting on too so let’s move on. As long as you stop trying to get with me.”
“I love you, Jaime. I made mistakes, I know. But I was mourning our son.”
He saw the tears. They dripped down quite quickly. He mumbled a quiet sorry and hurried over to the nurse. Leaving her standing there. She was standing there when the nurse took him to the nurses’ office.
Biba came out of the lift first. Kanyin and Austin, behind her. They were not holding hands like they usually did. The car journey felt longer than it should have. She was pleased to see Obinna even though his face appeared gloomier than the couple’s.
“Hey,” he strode towards them. “Don’t worry, Issy is fine. She is asleep but the doctor said she will be fine. They said it is better she is sleeping like this.”
“You haven’t spoken to her boss?” Austin exchanged looks with his wife.
Biba knew why. They had planned to come back to the hospital when day broke through this morning. But Isio had rung. She told them she felt fine. They were all together having just dropped Meimuna off at home. “Get some sleep girls,” Isio muttered. “I’m completely fine.”
Without Isio saying it, they had known she wasn’t fine. Not completely. Not where Obinna was concerned. It was in the way she didn’t ask of him.
Obinna shook his head, staring at Austin as he did this. He tended to do this, Biba noticed. Staring at people like someone trying to deduce what the speaker wasn’t saying. Although, she saw him do this once with Isio. The day he was questioning her about her mum. She had noticed that those puckered brows that came on whenever he was waiting for answers disappeared whenever Isio spoke. That he smiled often. He touched her and kissed her whenever he wanted. This was why she couldn’t believe what Ikumapayi said happened yesterday night.
“Let me go back to my daughter,” Obinna said. “Come get me when she wakes up. Please.”
“Okay boss,” Austin replied.
Biba glared at Austin whose grin did not waver as his boss sauntered away. “He is gone now. No need to keep smiling, oga’s boy.”
Austin’s grin disappeared. Replaced by a disapproving scowl. “At least, I’m not pregnant by my cousin’s boyfriend.”
“What? Who says it’s your business?” She had known she would regret introducing Stan to Austin at the new club in Stratford. What she didn’t know was that Stan would not only become close to him but he would ring him up as soon as she told him she was expecting his child.
“You don’t even feel guilty. You have ruined Stan’s life. You have ruined his relationship with your cousin. Do you think Meimu will forgive you?”
“Keep lying to yourself.”
She hoped her cousin would forgive her. Not right away. Someday.
When her cousin confronted her at the party because she had seen texts between Stan and Austin, for a brief moment, it had looked as if she would slap her. And she had known she deserved to be slapped. For letting Stan follow her into the ladies’ toilet and pushing her against the wall. In their drunken haze, they did not think. Her legs had clamped around him with the strength she thought was only reserved for Damian.
Thinking of Damian and how this would affect their son softened her stubborn core. Damian had always been good to her. Paying for her share of the rent because her father did not send her money this month. Aunty Funmi said he had spent hundreds of million on his wedding party with his new wife. The former beauty queen with the famous pout.
“What I did was wrong.” She admitted. “What I don’t get is why you’re heaping the blame on me.”
“I blamed him too. What you two did is worse than wrong.”
The man was one of those who believed people should be married off early and never look at anyone else. That people should work and shun fun.
“Sorry, we disappoint you.”
Kanyin was walking away from them. She disappeared through the brown door by the lift.
They found her at the bottom of the first flight of stairs. She dried her tears on her sleeves when she saw them. Austin helped her up and hugged her whilst Biba apologised.
“Is this because of the pregnancy test?” Austin asked. “Babe, we’ve to give it time.”
“How selfish do you think I’m?” His wife tried to pull away from him.
“I’m sorry.” He held on, patted her back like a baby when she started to cry. “Don’t worry. Don’t cry, wifey. She will be okay.”
“What’s going on?” Biba had to ask. “I know something is wrong guys. Just tell me.”
“Anu is dying.” Kanyin yelled and then collapsed on the last step. Her husband grabbed her and she held on to him fiercely. He answered the question Biba thought of but did not voice.
“We found out yesterday. Her stepmum did not even tell Idriss she has a serious heart condition. She didn’t want to worry anyone. She is undergoing treatment sha. All you can do is pray for her, it doesn’t look good.”
Kanyin didn’t cry for long. Her husband seemed to know what to say so that she was able to smile when they saw Isio on the ward. He knew what to say too when Isio said she didn’t want to see Obinna.
“I understand, Issy. I get it. But you are pregnant. Even if you don’t want to be involved with him again, you need to sit down together and decide what you will do about the child.”
It was their friend’s turn to cry. She cried, repeating over and over that Obinna had ruined her life. They crowded round her and did what friends were supposed to do. Although it was Austin that lifted her mood, cracking jokes about Obinna’s rich man walk. When they were leaving, they saw Obinna at the door with a tray of cupcakes, a bouquet of flowers and an apologetic face.
Biba had showered and dressed in one of her night shirts that evening when she heard a slight knock on the door. Although she had sent Idriss a message saying, I’m here for you that day, she had not expected him.
“What are you doing here?” She wasn’t embarrassed that she was barely covered up.
“Trying to have some fun,” he moved her gently out of the way and shut the door with the heel of one of his shoes.
“What about your wife?”
He was staring at her tenderly like Austin stared at the bar of chocolate he devoured this afternoon. Eyes twinkling, lips parted.
“You have been drinking.” She sought the strength to tell him to go home. But his seductive gaze kept her rooted. His bearded face set her alight.
She knew, he would support her. The baby would need to be provided for. Her aunt would not support her with raising the child of the man her daughter was supposed to marry. So, she let Idriss kiss her.
He pushed her to the wall and kissed her, pinning her hands to the wall. When he stooped to peel her nightshirt off her she saw urgency so vividly spoken in his eyes. She arched her back as he kissed her breasts and murmured her name. When his hands crept down to her knickers, he touched her tenderly. Stirring her. Reminding her of what she had not felt for a long time. When he stood upright, it was to pick her up and carry her into her bedroom.
“Can I get you water?” Obinna asked. It was another unsuccessful attempt at conversation.
She sat up, unscrewed the lid of the plastic bottle water, drank from it and then placed it back on the tray. Her forehead creased up. Yet, when he rushed over to her, she waved him off.
“Should I get a nurse, Issy?”
She shook her and returned to the lying-down position she had been in since he arrived. She had been in that position when he apologised, when he told her, he knew what Chibuzor did. But she had tapped on her phone and refused to react. Even as he told her about Annabel’s apologies.
“Sweetie, you have to talk to me. I abandoned Bell to be with you. I know what I did is unforgivable but I love you. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Just talk to me. Tell me how I can make things better.”
She glanced at him then returned her gaze to the corner of the bedsheet she was fiddling with. He realised that Mike’s mantra, you are not listening if you are talking would not work. Neither would talking.
“Okay, I will come back later.” He painted a pleasant smile on his face because she was watching him rearrange her sheets around her feet. Covering them up.
“Don’t come later. I’m tired.”
Her voice was weary. He believed her. “Okay. I will be here first thing in the morning.”
“Please. You don’t even have to take me back yet. Maybe we rushed things, maybe I need to prove myself to you and our child.”
“Come around ten forty. My scan is at eleven.”
“Thanks.” He kissed her forehead. “I will be here. I won’t let you down again.” She closed her eyes and although he knew she wasn’t asleep yet, he left her to rest.
Tired legs took him back to the children’s ward. His daughter was asleep. Her mother, who he had not expected to come back until tomorrow was asleep on the fold-away bed. Annabel was frowning. She tended to frown in her sleep. Isio claimed he did this too.
He didn’t kiss her head because he didn’t want to wake her. He watched her for a while before going to speak to the junior doctor who had persuaded his mother to go home. Miles was around with his teenage daughter at that time and because the girls were chatting, he had gone to see Isio like Miles suggested.
The doctor was writing on a file in front of the nurses’ office. She stopped and greeted him warmly. Her hair was red. Almost rosy. Her blue eyes brightened and cheeks flushed whenever he held her gaze for too long. If the situation was different, he would have concluded that she was attracted to him.
She was telling him not to worry. Explaining the tests Annabel would need to have and how manageable her condition was.
“You make it sound like she would be epileptic forever,” he said. “Didn’t someone else say something about the accident and the fact that she was in the water for ages…”
“You and her grandma mentioned she hasn’t been well for a while. It is possible that she has had fits before. Even in her sleep.”
“I would have known. What kind of a father do you think I’m?” The air in the hallway was stifling. A nurse walking past glanced in their direction. “I’m sorry. You are only doing your job.”
“It’s fine,” she tucked the file under an arm and moved closer to him. “The seizures might not have been noticeable then.”
“What do you think caused it?”
“We know it’s not hereditary and she wasn’t deprived of oxygen at birth. Unfortunately, it could be any of a number of factors. Brain injury. She could have sustained an injury as a young child.” She raised her hand up as if to stop him from speaking. “I’m not suggesting, you left her on her own. Clearly, you care about her.”
“So, how can I make her better?”
“We will do our bit. We will keep running tests and put her on stronger doses if she fits again. But you have a bigger role to play. No late nights from now on. She can’t get stressed. She can’t be too unhappy. Basically, let her get whatever she wants. For now at least.”
“I will bring you some leaflets later.” The doctor smiled. “I have to see a patient now but I will come and see you later.”
“Thanks. I will be in the family room.”
He fell asleep after returning Ifeanyi and Lotachi’s calls. There were others, he knew, that had called his mother, worried about them but he needed to do some research on his phone about the kind of life his daughter would live from now on.
It was Anu’s voice that woke him up in the morning. He was surprised to find the day was in full bloom and he had slept for hours on a settee. Anu waited whilst he went to the bathroom and to check on his daughter. Annabel was cuddled up to the teddy bear a nurse brought her yesterday. The teddy bear she said was for babies. Her hands held it next to her new phone.
Her mother stirred. She liked to sleep in rooms that were set up similarly to posh hotel rooms. Comfortable. Lacking the kind of clattering and racketing sounds of busy surroundings. He realised that Chief Ibe was right when he said Kelly had become a better mother.
Kelly was folding the bed when he came out of the bathroom. “The bed wasn’t all bad.”
“Go home, Kel. I will call you if anything happens.”
“Have you seen her? She needs me. How can I abandon her again?”
“Things are awkward between us.” He placed his toiletry and laundry bags on top of her four-wheel suitcase. She had packed as if she was going on a long holiday. “All I’m saying is, you don’t have to be here all the time. At least go and chill at home today, it’s Christmas.”
“I’m here for my daughter.” She folded her arms across her chest. “I haven’t died because you turned me down. I can cope without you.”
“So, you don’t want me to get you breakfast then?”
“Try coming back with no food and see what I will do,” she clicked her fingers.
“I won’t try it,” he grinned. “I will go get us breakfast as soon as I’m done with Anu. She is waiting for me.”
“Isn’t that Idriss’ wife?” She arched an eyebrow. “You should introduce us.”
Anu was staring out of the window when he returned to the family room. She looked beautiful. Healthy. He hoped that she would tell him what Idriss told him was wrong. That her heart was fine.
“You are going to be okay,” he said from behind her. “We won’t let anything happen to you. We will get you the best doctors.”
“I’m already seeing one of the bests.” She turned to him.
“Then we will go to India. I hear they have good heart surgeons.”
“My options are still going to be limited.” Anu threaded her way to the settee. “He is going to need your help if I don’t make it…”
“Stop it.” This was one of the reasons he missed home too often. People’s willingness to succumb overhere. Surrendering to problems even before they had been hit. Anu was one of the strongest women he knew yet her shoulders were slumped. “You have to beat this. You owe it to your children.”
“It’s my children I’m thinking of,” her lips trembled. She shook her head when he rushed to her. “Please, let me get this out.” She closed her eyes briefly, breathed out and opened her eyes again. “I don’t want to leave my children. They are too young. Jadesola is very clever, she is. She asks all this questions and I want to be here to answer them all. I want God to heal me so I can be here.”
He sent a prayer above in his head.
“In case it all goes wrong and this ticking time bomb in my chest goes off, I need to know you will be there to make sure my husband continues to be a good dad to our children. All of them.”
“He is a good father, you know that.”
“I do. I also know he runs when confronted with things like this. He practically abandoned me so he could come and see you last night.”
Obinna concentrated on her hands. On the dazzling engagement and wedding rings her husband had bragged cost him a lot of money. He didn’t want to have to lie to her. Idriss did not come last night. He didn’t call either.
“He can’t cope with sadness. He will start to drink and sleep around if I’m not here. Please, be there for my children. I don’t want them to suffer without me.”
“You have me, Anu. You have me.” He took one of her hands in his and held on.
They were holding hands when she followed him to Annabel’s room. Annabel had not woken up yet. Her mother fussed over Anu as he expected, bragging about holidaying in The Hamptons and the South of France. Asking if they could go on a friend’s yacht sometime. Anu was nodding and saying yes, so he left them for the women’s ward.
Isio was sat up in bed. “Doc was here to see me.”
“Doc?” He asked as he sat beside her on the bed. “Sorry sweetheart, I know you work here…”
“My boss. Toyin’s father. He came to see me. I asked him about Bell.” The corners of her mouth moved like someone about to cry. She gripped the edge of her pillow and turned her head. Her eyelids were swollen. Last night, they were swollen and noticeably darker than the rest of her face.
“He should not have told you anything.”
“It’s good he told me. I hope you know this means you have to put her first?”
“Come on, the girl is already spoilt. She walks around like a princess.”
She managed something that seemed like a smile. “I will miss her so much. No matter how spoilt she is, I actually really care about her. I will miss Mummy too. She treated me like I was family.”
He frowned. “What is this? His head had started throbbing again and he had started to wish he had gone out for a smoke before coming to see her. He saw the tears and jerked his head up. “We can make it work. Don’t say you want out now. I will pay for people to look after her. You don’t have to lift a finger.”
“She needs her mother, Jay.” She covered her face for a brief moment, trembling with anguish. “I’m not her mother and seeing me in her mother’s position is only going to make her health worse.”
“No. We will cope. The three of us.” He helped her into a sitting position and wiped her face with the corner of his shirt. “I mean the four of us.” He placed a palm on her stomach whilst holding her with his other hand. “You are the one I love. I mean it, baby girl. I have never felt like this before. Not even with Sadiya. Stay with me. How can you leave when you know how much I need you and this baby.”
“The baby is gone,” she clasped her hands around his neck. “I started spotting last night.”
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